I Just Want To Be Happy
Clients often tell me what they want most is to “just be happy.”
When I ask what will make them happy, their responses range from getting a better job to having more fun, being wealthy and everything in between. However, I’ve found most of my clients don’t stop to think about what life will look like after achieving their goal. They don’t consider what will be different and what will be exactly the same.
You believe you’ll "feel" better once you’ve achieved your goal, but the external things in life, like a new job, mask the real motivation of the goal - how you want to feel.
It’s easy to think once you reach your goal, life will drastically improve but oftentimes that’s not the case. Most of the goals you set for yourself are actually rooted in emotions and the way you want to feel afterward.
Achieving goals usually result in short-term happiness, but often fail to maintain long-term joy. The reason is that we neglect to identify the internal payoff we're seeking from achieving the external goal.
You don’t need to look in the future to find happiness. The only thing you need to do is change your perspective. Once you learn how to change the way you view your goals, you can stop waiting for some future event to make you happy. It's about identifying what you have now that can bring you the emotional payoff you're actually seeking.
Whether you want to feel healthier, successful or appreciated, you can feel that way right now. The only thing stopping you is not having experienced the external goal. So think about the emotion you’re expecting to feel once you achieve the goal, take inventory of what you already have, and decide to feel the emotion now that you want to feel in the future.
Identify the 5 most common thoughts you have on a daily basis and the emotion associated with those thoughts. Next, make a list of the 5 emotions you would like to experience instead and jot down some ideas about how you can change your thoughts to align with those emotions.
For example, if you’re looking for a better job in order to feel more successful, think about what success you’ve had in the past. Write down a list of those successes and read over the list every time you feel like you haven’t been successful.
Remind yourself of how you can be grateful for that now and put your mind is a place of success instead of waiting for success to happen to you.
Once you start feeling success now you will find that you begin to attract more success easier into your life. You don't need to rely on external events to make you happy, you find joy now because you know how to create it yourself.
Understanding the emotion behind your goal gives you the opportunity to be happy now. It allows you to see you what you’ve already achieved and not have to rely on a future event in order to be happy.
You are the only thing standing between what you want in the future and what you can experience now.