How Well Do You Fail?

The word fail has two meanings:

  1. To be unsuccessful in achieving one's goal.

  2. To neglect to do something.

Just understanding the definition of the word fail begs the question, would you rather try and fail or never try at all?

Most chose to never try at all.

When you were a baby and first learned to walk there were many times you failed, but you didn't give up and decide never to try walking again. You just fell down and got back up. Your baby brain had not yet developed the conditioned behavior of giving up. Instead, you chose to keep trying until you reached your goal.

Failing is a normal part of the learning process, but along the way we’ve decided not doing something is often easier than the discomfort of failing to reach a goal. If you’ve tried something in the past and failed, you condition yourself to believe that it’s better not to go after something if there’s a chance you’ll fail.

Oftentimes that leads to us being stuck in our life because we don't know how to move forward. So we neglect to do anything at all. You don't know what to do, so you do nothing. Your inaction leaves you stuck in an ongoing cycle of fear and worry.

But if you don't start somewhere, you'll never get anywhere.

A few years ago, I decided to join a CrossFit gym. After my first week, I asked my coach if it ever got any easier and her response was "no, but you get stronger." I remember thinking to myself, well that’s dumb I don't want to get stronger, I want this to be easier. But she was right. I went from barely getting through my first week to competing in a competition, which was something I never thought possible when I first started. And it certainly was not easy, but I was stronger.

That valuable piece of advice she gave me has stayed with me as an entrepreneur. I fail often. It’s part of the journey. And each time I get stronger.

When I left my corporate job in 2015, I chose to let my future be determined by faith instead of fate. Had I stayed in a job just going through the motions and only collecting a paycheck, I would have left my future up to chance. I would have let fate determine my outcome. If I would have been afraid to try something new, I would have just allowed life to happen with no active participation on my part.

Instead, I chose to create my future. To have faith that I could make things happen, achieve my goals, and create the life I wanted. I chose to risk the chance of not achieving a goal instead of neglecting to take action.

But with a big risk, comes a big potential for failure. And every time I try something new and fail, it never gets easier, I just get stronger. So I learn to push through what doesn’t work and try again. I choose the possibility of not achieving something over inaction, and I choose it again and again.

So if you’re feeling stuck, feeling a lack of purpose in your life, or feeling like you're off course, try stepping out of your comfort zone. Step into what challenges you and what scares you. Decide that you will choose faith in yourself over the fate of inaction. Because it will never get easier, but you will get stronger.

Consider your past failures. If you had the chance to do it over again, would you? Hopefully, you would say “yes” because out of that mistake you learned something about yourself and grew. Now when you encounter a similar situation, you know how to try something different. You learned how to be better at failing.

If you’re stuck in life, in a job you hate, or in business that won't take off, what action are you afraid to take? Are you afraid to act because there's a risk of failure?

I’ve been there. I’ve been stuck, I’ve been unsure and I’ve learned how to power through. And along the way I’ve learned to fail better.

If you need some one on one coaching to take action in your life and get over your fear of failing, apply for a session with me today.

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